Goodbye Grandma

June 14th 2009 sometime between 4am and 6am My grandma, Doris went peacefully home. She had been stricken with dementia and Alzheimer and more recently with Parkinsons. I am so thankful that her struggle is over. And extremely thankful that she went peacefully and in no pain.

She was born in 1927 on a farm in Nebraska. She worked hard most of her life, first as a waitress in her families restaurant and then as a health care administrator for the Tucson Unified School District. She married a military man, Howard and they had two sons, Robert and Richard. They moved to Utah where Howard worked on the Enola Gay Mission during World War 2. Sadly Howard was killed in a motorcycle accident after getting an honorable discharge from the military.

My Grandma moved to Tucson where she met and married "Norm". He was the only grandpa I even knew.

My memories of grandma are of Sundays at her house. She would cook dinner and we would watch Wild Kingdom and the Lawrence Welk Show. She was a very out spoken and intelligent woman and not one to be messed with. She had a fire and passion about all that she believe in.

We moved her to Las Vegas a few years after "Norm" passed a way because it was becoming clearer that she had dementia. In those early years she still had that fire about her and would get so frustrated with not being able to say the words she wanted. I remember she would call me a couple of times a day to let me know she just moved here and would appreciate a visit. Not remembering that I was just there. Anytime I would ask her how she was doing she would say "Cant Complain nobody will listen" but would also be just thrilled that she didn't have to cook or clean anymore. It was hard to watch such a strong, independent and passionate women become so dependent and frustrated. As the years went by it became more and more evident that the women I knew as my grandma had "passed away".

In the last months before her death, she had good days and bad days. When I would go see her, her face would brighten up as she knew she "knew" me but could never remember my name. I would always tell her it was ok.. as long as I knew who I was.. it didnt matter if she did. Amazingly she still had many memories of her days gone by it was just the present she couldn't keep track of.

For me, I am glad her frustration is over. Alzheimer's is an awful disease. It robs you of your loved one right before your eyes. Like a slow death with no pain. I will definitely miss my weekly visits to her. I will miss Her soft hands in mine and quirky sentences that at times made no sense at all. It was a lot of work taking care of her.. managing her doctor appts and making sure she was getting the care that I could never give her but so worth it, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. It allowed me to grow close to her and get to know her and her past.

Goodbye Grandma. Heaven doesn't know what its in for now that you are there. I Love you and will miss you very much. And I will make more of an effort to get "in the picture" as I wish now I had a more recent picture with you and me together.